Because I Said So

A Day of Memory

Today is the anniversary of the day my mom passed away. It was sudden and unexpected. Although she passed many years ago, I feel closer to her now than I did at the time. I was in my formidable years and only knew her as "mom". You know how it is; when you are a kid, your parents don't seem human. They're just parents. That is probably always going to be my biggest regret and sorrow- knowing that my mom wasn't there to see some of the important events in my life. It makes me sad to think that she will never see me get married or get to know her grandchildren (if there are any!). I have a nephew who was born a couple of years after she died, and I know it makes him sad that he never got to know her. I worry my kids might feel the same way. She was an awesome mother, and I owe a large part of who I am today to her. As I've gotten older, I've begun to see her more as a person. I can relate to her situations better now that I have experienced many of them myself. I wish that I had the chance to know her as an adult and to have adult conversations with her. But, it wasn't meant to be. I am grateful for the time I had with her, even if I do regret the way I treated her sometimes. I know that I was just a kid and reacting as such. I know without a doubt that she knew I loved her, and that she'll always be a part of me. I am proud of who I have become and they ways that I have honored her memory.

tirade by Jenster at 4:40 PM