Because I Said So

WTF?

I have finally learned to accept that some people just aren't good people. I guess it's fair to say that I have been jaded, or maybe I'm just stupid. In the past, I haven't had much tolerance for people who have treated me badly. So why was I so willing to let one jerk walk all over me for the last two and a half years? I kept wanting to believe that he was a good person, that he just was going through a bad time. Well, he isn't a good person, and he is who he is. I knew early on that he was a textbook narcissist. He truly thinks he is God's gift to the world, and to women in particular. It's almost sad, if you think about it.

What kind of person tells someone who has a debilitating illness that being sick makes them unattractive? A person with no integrity, that's who. That is just plain cold. To think I wasted so much time and energy on this person makes me angry. It is because of self-centered people like him that there are terrorists in the world. He used to tell me how overweight women make him sick. He even once broke up with a girlfriend because her weight grossed him out. He has only female friends, all of which he claims have a crush on him. He gets down-right nasty if you dare say anything critical of him. If I try to tell him how I feel about that way he treats me, it's automatically my problem. He doesn't have to justify it, or change it. I'm just supposed to accept it. I so want him to read the book Why Is It Always About You, but I know he'd in no way get it.

I know his issues must have something to do with how he was raised because his sister is just as bad. She has cancer and has more or less ditched her kids so she can go and party. I tell you, these are some pretty warped people. I realize that I have become skeptical and untrusting as a result of his deception. Well, no more. Just because I encountered one rotten egg doesn't mean that other people aren't good people with good intentions. His intentions were purely selfish. I know that is not normal and that most people are not that way. I am going to accept him for who is he, and just move on. He is not worth anymore of my time or energy. There are people out there who do deserve what I have to offer, and he isn't one of them.

I know that karma will catch up to him someday. It will all come crashing down on him and he won't have a clue as to why. I wish I could put a warning on him so that no other woman has to get hurt. Especially since he tends to like to go after his 19-year-old students. I pray that all of his future encounters (and there will be many, I assure you) can manage to survive his wrath. I feel badly for them. I feel badly for those he has left in is wake as well. I always believed that anyone could change, but I fear that he is simply incapable of it. I was completely wrong about everything I ever thought about him. I don't know how I could possibly have been so wrong. What the hell was I thinking? Why did I let him treat me like shit over and over again? Well, I have certainly learned my lesson here. Never again will he use me. Never again will he hurt me. Never again will he insult me. Never again.

tirade by Jenster at 9:13 AM